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  • B. Nintzel

A love letter (to Los Angeles... a decade later)


I was always someone who colored inside the lines,

for fear of punishment,

but then I smeared an edge...

and broke a tip.

I pounded the table,

cried up to the heavens;

For what was I to do without

rules of confinement?

But when I stepped back from the surface I played on,

I realized...

Why not?

...What if?

- B. Nintzel

Los Angeles,

I have cried and screamed and wailed and wallowed and even tried to die;

You've always picked me back up, cradled me, and sang me the melody of a warm breeze.

That's what a great partner does--reflects the beauty of your heart and soul back to you in times when you cannot see your own value.

That mirror allows for a piercing glance into the ugly and the beautiful and the brave of one’s soul.

I have found out more about myself through the vehicles that have been placed in my path here--

You clever, clever minx.

Sometimes, I'm unsure if I should cry out in agony or bow my head in gratitude. Your lessons, so complex, have encouraged me to reflect, grow, and excel.

Your oceans, your mountains, your city, and your paths create vast opportunities for observation and action.

I can never tell another how it feels to view your sunsets on top of a mountain overlooking the ocean; The taste of salt in my mouth, the feel of the air whipping across my pores, and the sense that nothing matters but this moment.

My life has been blessed, and it has been tormented, here.

I know I will never know who I am fully but I'm more excited than ever to continue that exploration with you under my feet and by my side.

Los Angeles, you're the best partner I've ever had. I've learned so much about myself from the people and places I've come into contact with here.

It took me ten years but I finally found the love of my life--Me, and I found it in You.

Love forever,

Me

22 y/o Beth, fresh to L.A. Me now! What a difference a decade makes!

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