Compliments-- A struggle
We as a society have an issue; Something has been plaguing us from feeling GOOD about ourselves. So, I hate to be the one to inform you, but, collectively, we have a compliment reception problem.
Why is it that we want to give compliments like water, yet, when we receive one we immediately negate it/turn it down/offer an explanation?
Here’s the thing: We have been inside of our own negative feedback loops for years. We each have one. It’s a series of (false) statements about ourselves that are played on repeat, sometimes quietly, sometimes with blaring volume, inside of our consciousness.
“I’m not good at this…”,
“I wish my stomach looked better”,
“I’m not very attractive”, and so on and so forth.
Would we speak to our friends, children, or loved ones in this matter? Well, truthfully, we all need a healthy dose of reality checks at times, but not for this.
So why do we let this loop play on? I think the best answer I’ve come up with is this--
The bad stuff is just easier to believe.
Somewhere, some time ago, someone said you weren’t good enough or pretty enough for something and instead of telling them to fuck off, (probably because you were a child), you took that in. You let it soak into the crevices of your brain and heart spaces and you believed that one piece of negative information. And then, when someone may have said something of similarity to that statement again, it just cemented the fact into you.
”Oh! You’re right. I’m not good enough.”
But that is simply not true. Our friends, loved ones, and hell, even strangers compliment each of us on a daily basis! We choose to remain in the negative loop instead of opening up to the perception that, gosh, maybe we ARE good enough.
Being stuck in that loop doesn’t mean we can’t get out of it. Make a promise to yourself to accept the next compliment you receive. Don’t offer an explanation as to where you purchased the item, don’t squish up your face as if you’ve just smelled rotting garbage. Embrace it! Say THANK YOU, and move on. You’ll feel better and the giver of compliments will feel awesome. Do this for THEM, and in turn, it’ll help bust up those negative little voices just waiting to take a turn at bat on your self-esteem.
Go forth. I’m proud of you.