If I could tell my ex something, what would I say?

Dear X,

You don’t deserve to have your name spoken inside my mouth. Instead, I will let the sounds of it drip out like the juice of a rotten fruit.

You will never know the immense damage you caused, not by leaving, but by staying for as long as you did, when it was clear you never thought I was your “one”. You were my partner, and I, your stepping stone.

I provided an opportunity for growth and healing and expected the same in return. I guess that is my fault--for to provide the platform of kindness and empathy to someone who isn’t ready for it, is a disaster just waiting to boil over and burn it all down.

However, if you had not caused me the immense pain and suffering you did, I would not be the person I am today:

I am stronger.

I am figuring out past wounds that I refused to heal before, due to lack of ability.

I am setting boundaries where before there was only sand.

I am more determined to taste success and my heart, while it is still partly closed, has never felt more open to receive the gift of love from someone else.

So, enjoy your new life with your new girlfriend. Enjoy the falsehood of a life less complicated by someone who doesn’t challenge you. I’m no longer angry or bitter, but I do feel bad for you, because to lose me… well, that’s something I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

I’ll be over here, pushing boundaries and creating art, all because you said, “Goodbye”. I might never see you again, but if I do, I’ll smile and nod, because I am far better off without always feeling the need to apologize to someone like You.

Never again,

B

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